by Jasmine Wong (5A) and Natalie Chen (5F)

(5 in 1.)

1. Why shouldn't we go to school

Kid: Ugh, I hate school.

Teacher: Give me a good reason why we shouldn't go to school.

Kid: Easy.

Kid: What are worksheets made of?

Teacher: Trees.

Kid: Ok.

Kid: What do we breathe?

Teacher: Oxygen.

Kid: What do trees make?

Teacher: Trees make carbon dioxide into oxygen.

Kid: See!

Teacher: That makes sense, I am going to tell the principal to shut down the school.

Later, in the principal’s office

Principal: What! You want to shut down the school and you think I’m really gonna do that?

Teacher: (Thinks about it for a minute) Yeah, why not?

Principal: Wow! Why did I hire you? You’re as dumb as a pig. You’re fired.

Teacher: What? Why!?

Principal: If children don’t go to school, they won’t learn a thing and will become as dumb as you.

Teacher: What!? That kid tricked me! I am going to get revenge on that horrible little rat.

Kid: (smirk) Hehehehe.

2. What can you get for free

Kid: Hey! Teacher, what are you doing?

Teacher: I am selling some old toys. Would you want them? The parrot and the ball cost a dollar each.

Kid: Ok! I would like the ball.

Teacher: Here is the ball. That will be one dollar.

Kid: Nah, I change my mind. I want the parrot. Here you can take it back.

Teacher: Ok! That will be one dollar still.

Kid: I paid you a dollar already.

Teacher: No you haven’t.

Kid: Oh, yes I have. The ball cost a dollar. I gave the ball to you, so that means I gave a dollar to you already.

Teacher: You are right. Here take the parrot.

3. I am not cleaning my room

Mom: Hey! Clean your room, now!

Mom: It is too dirty, there are clothes everywhere!

Kid: No!

Mom: Why? It is too dirty.

Kid: Because it is my room.

Mom: But this is my house.

Kid: Then go clean it!

4. Can I….? No!

Kid: Mom, can I…?

Mom: No.

Kid: Then can I…?

Mom: No.

Kid: Then what about…?

Mom: (Annoyed)For the last time, NO.

Kid: (walks away)OK.

Later that evening

Mom: Son, why didn’t you do the dishes, or take the trash out, or clean your room?

Kid: I was going to, but when I asked you, you said no. When I asked you again, you said no. And when I asked you again, guess what? You said no.

Mom: Oh!

Kid: So, can I…?

Mom: Yes, you can.

Kid: Okay, I am going to go to a party with my friends ‘til the end of the week. Love you bye!

Mom: (Shocked) What just happened?

5.When you get your test back

Kid: Mom, I’m home.

Mom: How was your test?

Kid: How did you know?

Mom: So, I am guessing you failed.

Kid: No, I got 90.

Mom: What?

Kid: Yeah, see for yourself.

Mom: Wait, something’s wrong.

Kid: What?

Mom: Son, did you add the zero?

Kid: No, I didn’t.

Mom: Son, don’t lie to me. Now tell me. Did you add the zero?

Kid: No, mom I swear I didn’t add the zero.

Mom: Really?

Kid: Yeah, I added the 9.

Mom: So you got 0.

Kid: Yeah.

Mom: Oh, you are gonna get a good beating.

Kids That Have 200 IQ